The Secret Killer of Relationships

Disappointment.  Jealousy.  Misunderstandings.

These are some examples of the side effects of unexpressed conflicts - the hidden poison that plagues most relationships today.

Many times, we tend to walk away from conflict instead of talking through it.  

Unaddressed issues tend to fester and produce huge rifts between people.  These issues lie dormant, waiting to explode when future conflicts arise.

Unexpressed issues turn assumptions into accusations and accusations into evidence, where one renders a verdict while the other does not even realize court is in session.   

A key issue with unresolved conflicts is that they can last a lifetime.

Some signs of unexpressed conflict can be storming into another room, arguing over small things, and waves of apathy.

Once you realize the specific unexpressed tension in your relationships, here are three practical ways to deal with it:

        1.  Take the Initiative

It takes real maturity and humility to bring up unexpressed conflicts first.  Despite possible repercussions, it is critical to have the hard conversations as soon as possible.  The sooner you address the issue, the sooner you can cut off its poisonous effects destined to harm the relationship.

        2.  Own and Confess Your Mistakes

This may seem risky, but owning and confessing your mistakes is one of the most powerful ways to disarm conflict.  No matter how difficult, confessing mistakes is the beginning of removing tension within your relationships.

        3.  Fight the Issue, not each other.

Unexpressed conflict can very quickly become extremely personal.  
Focus on fighting the issue at hand, rather than the other person.  An attack against one of you is a threat to both of you.

Relationships aren’t about winning, but about moving forward together in harmony.


Whether with your business partner, girlfriend or best friend, Open and Frequent communication is the cornerstone of effective relationships.    

Transparency cultivates trust.  

The very act of expressing a feeling, misunderstanding or frustration will typically create a stronger bond, help resolve the issue and ultimately enhance the relationship overall.